


Heal – Stanman

by mochiboe



Category: South Park
Genre: Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Out Of Character Eric Cartman, Sad Eric Cartman, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-21
Updated: 2020-06-21
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:47:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,249
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24844798
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mochiboe/pseuds/mochiboe
Summary: Eric Cartman has done something he regrets and he doesn't know how to save himself. He goes to the only person he can trust in south park and gets the softness he deserves.
Relationships: Eric Cartman/Stan Marsh
Comments: 3
Kudos: 47





	Heal – Stanman

It was Sunday in south park, in the middle of winter, and a boy with a red sweatshirt walking towards the only person he could mildly trust. This boy, Cartman, the racist fat fuck was heading to the Marsh's house, looking for a bit of shelter.

Normally, he wouldn't do this kind of thing. If he ever needed emotional support he would "speak" with his stuffed toys, or just eat his thoughts away, but nothing worked.

His mental stability was going down by seconds, and he only could do one thing to calm himself down. He regretted it seconds after doing what only the emo kids would do.

It hurt too much for him, and he didn't know he was that strong to be capable of hurting himself that badly and not knowing how to heal himself.

He needed someone to talk to and help him, even if that would mean showing weakness to anyone in south park.

He didn't trust anyone at all, everyone hated him to the core with good reasons and he didn't blame them at all. But even if he was in this awful situation, none of them would want to help; they would make him suffer even more for what he did in his younger days. Not like he was that old anyway.

Slowly, he reached his kinda-friend's house, stan's, and knocked a few times weakly. his arms felt numb. He hoped that the raven haired boy or his family wouldn't notice why the brunette was covering his arms.

After a few seconds of waiting — that felt like an hour to Eric — Stan opened the door. He looked annoyed. It was pretty early in the morning and he looked like he didn't get much sleep. "What do you want, Cartman?" he asked, looking angry. 

"I- uh. need your help for.. a few seconds." he tried to say, but he stuttered more than tweek and got a pity to look from Stan, who seemed to be quiet, just standing there with the door open thinking about what to do. "Can I come in? — please?" He said as he gripped his clothing, trying to cover the obvious. It took him too long to be able to say please, but he really needed someplace to stay and his friend's place seemed like the best option.

...

"C'mon hippie, just let me in," Eric said after a few minutes of nothing. Stan nodded and opened the door so he could get in and went upstairs, to his room, so they could talk things out.

"What do you need help with? Or did you just come here to bug me?" He sounded really annoyed. Like Kyle in his good days.

"Well, I actually need your help with something .. serious. It's nothing problematic, just- I just wanted to talk it out." Eric looked desperate and uncomfortable. he didn't like opening up about how he felt, that just made his enemies aware of his weakest points.

"What is it?" Stan didn't look frustrated anymore, just concerned. This wasn't something Cartman would say if he wasn't planning something. —was he thinking like Kyle?

Cartman struggled to say any other words and looked at the floor for a few minutes, silence filling the room. after what felt like hours, he grabbed his sweatshirt and just said "I hurt myself.. accidentally" his anxiety was rising by seconds and he didn't know what answer he would get, so he begged. "Please, Stan, I need you"

Stan looked confused, did Cartman come here because he just scratched his leg? Or because he got beat up by Kyle or Wendy again? He never came to his house when anything like that happened, or when he had any injuries. 

He looked at the chubby boy for a few seconds, searching for any kind of injury that could be that bad for him to come at his place, which he never really did. He found something.

He grabbed his arm lightly, feeling Cartman shake. His sleeve was a bit wet, and that didn't mean anything good. It could just mean something. He shot a cold stare at Cartman, and at that moment he just looked ashamed.

How could stan not notice? It was obviously bloodstained but in the worst part of the body. Did Cartman self-harm? He wanted to see it and maybe heal his wounds. That's what he needed help with, right?

"Can I?" Stan said pointing at his arm so he could get his sweatshirt off and see if he really self-harmed. Cartman struggled for a few seconds and just took it off. His arms were truly hurt and full of scars. He wasn't lying. 

Stan had a concerned, pitiful and sad face when he saw what the chubby boy had done to himself. He used to do this when he was a kid, but he stopped doing it after a few months or a year. Why would actually Cartman do this? 

The raven-haired boy stayed quiet and murmured "I'll go get some stuff to heal the wounds, wait here." and got out of the room.

Cartman sat down on the boy's bed and tried to calm down. he wasn't usually that anxious but this got him about to have an anxiety attack. 

Stan was taking too long for him. His mind was reliving what happened just a few hours before he came to his friend's room. 

((Yes. This is a fucked up flashback, be careful. big self-harm warning.))

Laying on his bed, hugging his broken stuffed toys and dolls, body covered in blankets, he felt unable to calm down. A while ago, his mother told him that, when something like this happens, that he should inhale and exhale slowly, but he didn't have control over his body.

He was full of anger, regret, and shame. He broke his dolls. He tortured the only friends he had and they obviously left him. It wasn't healthy for anyone in his friend group. He was alone.

He could remember being alone the first day, without anyone to laugh or talk to. He felt so lonely and powerless. He didn't have anyone anymore, he was alone.

He needed someone's attention. He didn't understand why but he couldn't stand being alone, looked at, and hearing little voices in the hallway saying his name with smirks on their faces.

His friends had absolutely rejected him, there was no way he could go back. Everyone in the school knew who he was and how he was like. What was he going to do now?

It was better to give up.

And so, he did. 

A day full of laughter towards him, strange and happy looks at him, because he was helpless now. He couldn't hurt anyone anymore. It was their time to get to him. He didn't have an escape. 

After a big day of avoiding every person in town, he slammed his room's door and hopped onto his bed, trying to forget what was coming for him.

Anger surrounded him. He couldn't control himself. He was sobbing uncontrollably, grabbing one of his plushies really intensely, trying to calm himself down. But instead, he broke what he touched. 

He broke the only thing that could help him cope at the worst time of his life. What was he going to do? He was so lost in his mind that only one idea came into mind.

He deserved it. He really did. He was an awful person that was just useful for fucking people's life up. He needed to leave everyone alone, he needed to get this regret out of his system. He deserved to be harmed. 

Who would hurt him other than himself. – a lot of people, actually.– it was better if he did something for all the people he tried to ruin. 

And so, he went to the bathroom, shaking at the thought of what he was about to do.

After that. He laid on the floor until it was morning. After hours of tears and blood dripping on the floor, he realized that he needed help. He didn't know how to heal his own scars. 

(( Done. ))

Full of harmful thoughts, he didn't notice how fast the time went by. And noticed a coming creak from the door, Eric almost forgot where he was. But now, realizing what he had done, he couldn't even look at the person in the door.

He stared at the floor all the time, just hearing little footsteps towards him, Stan was trying to be careful, as if the brunette was a scared stray cat.

Eric could hear the other one calling his name, but the shame and embarrassment he felt couldn't let him look at his face. And without knowing it, he was shaking in fear, little tears in his eyes that he wasn't going to let flow.

The footsteps stopped. 

Stan left the first aid kit in his bed and went towards the shaking boy, not knowing what to do. He had never seen someone in that position, but maybe something could help him calm down. Just something.

Eric felt a warm embrace that his mom used to give him and almost screamed. "It's okay" He could hear little murmured words to help him calm down, and the hug getting tighter. The large boy, without knowing, stopped shaking and his tears disappeared. He didn't want this moment to end.

But he couldn't be seen as weak, or as sensitive. He needed to get out of this situation and heal his burning arm.

"Stan." He called. Trying to push him away from the soft hug, but the other refused and wanted to stay comforting his guest for a while.

Stan knew what was going through his mind. He felt the same way when he was a little kid. He didn't want to overreact, he didn't want to make the harmed person feel regret, he didn't want to panic.

And after a moment, stan let go of Cartman and went to his bed to bring the aid kid. He didn't have much to do, just disinfect his wounds and bandage his arm and that should do it.

He opened the box and searched for betadine. It would hurt him a little bit after a while he would feel better. When he found the object, he opened the lid and warned the silent eric sitting in front of him.

"This might hurt a little, but you'll be alright after it dries." said softly while he grabbed Eric's arm –who didn't seem to protest at any of this– and pouring the cold liquid in his hurting arms. 

Cartman shivered at the touch but tried to stay calm so he wouldn't show too much weakness. That could go really wrong.

"Okay, done. Wait a few seconds for the betadine to dry and then I'll bandage your arm up!" He said, almost cheerfully. What happy thing did he see about this? Why didn't he ask any questions? Was he assuming things that would ruin his reputation even more?

Cartman was full of dark thoughts, about to break, get up, and interrogate the hippie, but he didn't have the energy. He couldn't even get up from the bed.   
But he still could ask questions.

"Why are you acting this kind to me?" He spits out of the blue. He had a lot of concerns about the dark-haired boy's thoughts and how he might be planning to ruin his reputation. If this got out, he might even get bullied! Eric Cartman, being bullied! He would never let that happen, even if he was this weak. 

He stared at Stan with anger in his eyes, ready for the last question; "Are you gonna tell anyone about this?" "Do you wanna ruin my reputation? Is that what you want? To see me getting bullied?" He stood up, looking straight at Stan, who didn't say anything or answer the questions he gave him.

Stan also stood up, got close to cartman, and gave him another warm hug. It's what he needed right now. An embrace filled with love and peaceful answers. He knew that Eric wasn't in the mood for this, but the large boy didn't even flinch at the feel of the tight hug.

"I want to help you, Cartman. That's why you came here, right? I wanted you to open up, but you looked so tired that I preferred the silence you gave." Cartman's body relaxed, but he still had questions and he hasn't answered them yet.

"I'm not going to tell anyone about this, because I was in the same position as you and I don't want it to happen again." He said as he left cartman out of the warm embrace, making him feel empty. "I'm not going to do anything to harm you. I want to support you" And with that, he left a kiss on the brunette's forehead and searched for the bandages.

"What THE FUCK DID YOU JUST DO?!" A scream could be heard all around south park. And it didn't surprise anyone. "I'm supporting you, that's what you need right now," Stan replied, peaceful as ever.

"Y-you can't just DO THAT?!" Now Eric was having an existential crisis thanks to him. He didn't need to be that gay there. Stan just snickered and grabbed the bandages. "Lend me your arm for a moment, the betadine is already dry so I can bandage your arm." He said as he grabbed Eric's arm softly and started wrapping his arm with bandages.


End file.
